I'm lost on my path.

Suddenly came to realised that I couldn't really control my temper and emotion lately.

Especially when a lot of things come together at once like a huge tidal wave after a tranquil and serene period. I couldn't fit in the situation well. I couldn't adapt.

I wish to step out of my comfort zone to fill myself with everything and every chances that I'm given or I could grab to accumulate experiences as well as knowledges as some aids to my future. I thought that these are crucial as the major determinant of success.

I went for interviews, looked for jobs, joined clubs and societies, organized events, walked extra miles to followed up each and every tiny details of anything I would probably miss without cautious and kind perusal.

I'm taking up responsibilities, enhancing my leadership skills, trying to improve my English proficiency and attempting to look for all the best opportunities to make myself a better person.

Consequently, I realised that I became a stronger person with higher efficiency and capability than before that I thought I need the most for myself. I became more and more of a realistic and practical person. Rationality grows in me.

But at the same time, I lost my sensation, consideration, toleration, feelings and emotional wise. I often laugh but I don't really feel happy at times.

It seems like I couldn't find my balance on my way.
I do not know whether I should emphasize on which end of my personalities and how can I do that or how can I balance them.

I used to be very selfless and now very selfish. I put myself on others' shoes a lot but now I can only see myself.

I don't know how to convert all my inner conflicts into words exactly but I know something is wrong on me. Very wrong.

I couldn't pinpoint what exactly is it and couldn't decide to what extend should I go for rationality / passion / emotions / capability / friendship etc.

I feel like I mess up everything. Every pieces of me is just like a shit. Nothing is right.

I thought that I will be growing as long as I'm willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when I try something new that would make a change to my life!

Yes, I do change. But where am I? I'm lost in my path. I know I should be more optimistic and inculcate myself with more positive thinking that I need the most, but I just end up with this negative post. :/

Save me.

Maybe I'm just too tired. This post is driven by the effect of the powerful insomnia.